Miami, April 6 - In a bizarre twist of fate, a cruise ship has returned after a 14-day trip -- without incident. No outbreak of disease, influenza, food-borne, navigational, or other incident at sea was reported. None. Zilch. Butkiss.
Cruise line officials were uncharacteristically speechless. "I am speechless," offered Kristi Wellfleet of Carnivore Cruise Lines.
Doctors Without Borders spokesman Gaston Intestinale was nonplused "Je ne comprend pas" he added.
Similarly Lawyers Without Clients spokesplaintiff voiced concern: "This is not good for business...hey, you can't print that you little..."
No injuries were reported at press time. No family members were contacted for comment. This is the first such incident not reported, or non-incident reported, this season. Coast Guard officials plan an investigation.