Elon Musk has just learned that his pride and joy, the Tesla cruise ship, has collided with and sunk a Laotian fishing boat. The ship, named The Merry Mermaid of The Ocean, struck the fishing boat at 3:13 am, and within a minute, by 3:14 am, the L…
SOMEWHERE ON THE NORWEGIAN SEA - (Satire News) - The Cosmos News Service has just informed the public that a Russian submarine fired a torpedo at the Norewegian cruise liner, "The Princess of The Fiords." The ship's captain, Lars Hunkerheim, 67, s…
PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – The Ship Ahoy Cruise Line Company, out of Pensacola, has found the way to drum up much-needed business in this era of the so called Trumpian Pandemic. The company, which is owned by Pepsi Cola and Peter Pan Pea…
MIAMI – (Satire News) – A group of oceanic scientists have just announced that the mysteriously mystical Bermuda Triangle is actually not a triangle, but a trapezoid. Dr. Filbert R. Fibbingshire stated that the somewhat scary, somewhat legendary B…
Mrs. Jane Sunderland is on-board a cruise ship in the middle of the Gulf, unable to dock due to the stalled Hurricane Harvey. The luxury liner left last Sunday, August 20th and was due to return to Houston on the 27th. "We are living in absolu...
The Tophat Circus Cruise Company has announced that although it was a close call, one of it's ships almost capsized. Luckily no one was hurt because at least 17 male passengers hurled themselves overboard. It seems the ship was a little too close...
The Andersons come over to visit the new couple on the block, just back from their Honeymoon. "We're glad you're over here within visiting distance after the four of us being friends now for three years", stated Mr. Anderson. "We're glad to be on this block", stated Henry. "But we had a whale of a honeymoon." "Why, Donna's blushing. Look at that." "Oh there's a lot more to tell and he...
MOBILE, Alabama - Julie Pabst, a spokesperson for The Happy As Heck Ocean Tours based in Mobile, Alabama talked about the recent incident aboard their cruise ship The Seductress of The Sea. Miss Pabst, a strikingly attractive single blonde woman,...
1. Portal Potties everywhere you look. 2. Captain's hat made out of tinfoil. 3. Shuffleboard uses a leftover upper plate. 4. Cooks all fishing from the deck. 5. Instead of Lifeboats, there's old blown up inner tubes that look like they came off of a Studebaker. 6. A dozen people sick and hanging over the rail and you haven't left port yet. 7. The old guy that keeps...
NEW YORK CITY - A team of five American oceanic scientists have just reported that one of the four Titanic smokestacks is missing. The ship, which hit an iceberg and sank on April 14, 1912, is resting at a depth of 12,600 feet on the Atlantic Ocea...
MOBILE, Alabama - Political Salad Bar Magazine is reporting that due to the extremely bad publicity, the owners of the cruise ship Triumph have decided to change its name. Carnival spokesperson Helvetica Hickoryhaus, 52, stated that in order to re...
MOBILE, Alabama - After being out on The Gulf of Mexico for five days stinking up the place, the Carnival ship Triumph AKA The USS Porta Potty has finally docked at Mobile, Alabama. A representative for the city of Mobile, Fayleen Charleen Winterb...
Medieval Cruise Lines initial public offering of preferred stock has been met with widespread joy by vacationers and by investors alike. Its shares closed fifty percent higher than the initial asking price and it has fully booked all of its cruise...
The US Coast Guard was kept busy this morning plucking hundreds of passengers out of the water after they jumped overboard to avoid the singing of David Hasselhoff. Party Cruise Lines later released an apologetic statement saying they were "just...
HOLLYWOOD - The star of The Pirates of The Caribbean series Johnny Depp has just been cast to portray Italian cruise ship Captain Francesco Schettino AKA Captain Crunch. The movie titled Chicken of The Sea - The Story of The Captain of The Costa C...
Rome, Italy. The captain of the capsized cruise liner Costa Concordia has escaped Police custody and is believed to be on a boat being navigated by a bunch of stand up comedians from Chicago, Illinois. What reason these people have for freeing the...
The captain of the cruise ship that capsized off Tuscany has been accused by his company of taking an unauthorized diversion that led to the crash. Pier Luigi Luigi, the chairman of Cost-A-Concorde, laid the blame for the tragedy at the feet of ca...
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