Society beauty and billionaire heiress, Paris Hilton announced today that she would be steppping down from the public eye in order to work with disadvantaged children.
Miss Hilton, 26, told reporters that she was tired of her celebrity status and wanted to persue a more fulfilling role in life.
"I have decided to work with blind retards wot can't read," she told assembled journalists at the Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles, "I am going to build an instamatute called the Paris Hilton Instamatute for Blind Retards and we will gather together retards from all over the world. Cambodian retards, Chinese retards, Iraqian retards and teach them to read good."
The funding for the project will come from a pornographic video, currently in production, which features Miss Hilton and the 1996 Denver Bronco's.