Tiny troglodytes put a halt to $10bn Australian mine

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 29 March 2007

image for Tiny troglodytes put a halt to $10bn Australian mine
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Western Australia - (Assinine ress): Global mining giant Rio Tinto has unearthed a massive problem at its latest $10 billion Western Australian project site with the discovery of what its website has hailed as "extremely rare tiny, cave-dwelling animals measuring just 4mm in length" that have halted porduction on environmental grounds by the Western Australia Environmental Protection Agency.

Eleven new species of the troglodytes - tiny cave-dwelling creatures which resemble spiders - have now stopped iron ore mining in the area.

The EPA has issued a statement saying that the creatures feed on organic matter deep underground "and will die if exposed to ultraviolet light outside their caves."

One plan is to catch the little critters, put them in a giant light-proof tank, transport them five thousand miles away and give them a brand new home near Ayres Rock where a pre-fab honeycomb tunnel formation coulod be easily installed under World Wildlife Fund protection status.

Troglodytes have no eyes but have long front legs or feelers to find their way around in the dark. They are said to be suspicious of humans and hate wallaby droppings. "But most of all they are allergic to Rio Tinto miners and are potentially lethal if disturbed dring the rutting season."

Rio Tinto is appealing the production stoppage.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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