Oklahoma Hog Girl Eats Family Dog

Written by Moose&Squirell

Thursday, 22 March 2007

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Hog Girl: Having a Hot-diggity-dog-diggity Wiggly-Piggly Fahita Pita Poodle

SPECTRE COUNTY, OKLAHOMA,--(BARNYARD NOOZ) Oklahoma, 'where the wind comes sweeping down the plain and drunken Indians run around insane' comes a terrifying story to report. In the small town of Pork Rind, five miles outside of Chickasha along route 44, was the site of a horrific crime. A dog was found half eaten & in the arms of one of the southern Great Plains strangest creature described in ole folklore as...The Hog Girl of Oklahoma !

Ronald McDougal, a pork, weed & dust bowl farmer, made the discovery in the wee hours of the night after being awaken at 3:00 o'clock this morning. "I heard the sound of yelping coming from the barn. A minute later a loud shriek, that's when I grabbed my shotgun and went outside. I tipped-toed to the back of the barn and saw a creature gorging on something. I quickly pulled out my cell phone and dialed 911 and told dispatch to come a runnin' with a hop skippity jump over to my place."

Sheriff Officer Hunter Tomson, was the first to arrive and brought out his coon chasing dog, Blu. "I opened the car door and ole Blu, bolted out, running to the back of McDougal's barn and grabbing on to the creature's arm. Moments later, back up arrived. We shined the lights on this thing and found it to be a young girl with a big snout like a pig with blood running from her mouth. When we tried to get closer to her she snorted and lunged after one of the deputies. We whipped out the stungun and let her have it with 3,000 volts of mind-numbing juice knocking her unconscious. Upon close inspection we found that the Hog Girl had consumed the farmers favorite pet poodle, Princess."

Hog Girl tall tales describe the creature's habit of attacking and drinking the blood of livestock & dead stock, have been rumored and told & re-told turning it into a popular Spectre County urban legend.

The thing looks to be a female of fourteen with devilish eyes which follow you around the room. Rumor has it the child might be the off spring of a military couple which lived in the area many years ago and that the husband was into bestiality. After making love to a prize-winning sow at the County Fair one night, he went home to make love to his wife and the sperm of the animal mixed in with the human one and out came this hideous child.

Hog Girl was transported by police escort to Spectre County Hospital where she'll be kept for observation. After that she will be sold to the Spectre County Museum of Strange and Obscure Oddities. She will be penned as a live exhibit next to the "Welcome to Area 51" exhibit, which consist of the bodies of two Aliens preserved in a huge fish tank of formaldehyde and their spacecraft. "You know It's just what we like to say out here in Oklahoma, 'Looks like everything is gonna turn out...OK!'"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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