Dear Readers,
I do not know enough about Ms. Swift's back catalogue with extensive knowledge but I've come across weird criticism from hardcore Swifties that her writing is mediocre and this is one of her worst albums.
My arch-nemesis, disgusting hedonistic journalist David Wesley of The Wisconsin Sun Times found this criticism "shocking" and said these people are probably heavily tatted halftards hitting the crack pipe at 3am and most likely registered Democrats.
As one that has listened to thousands of songs, I intuitively accessed the brilliance of the album's first track, "The Fate of Ophelia" a showcase of Ms. Swift's high skill in storytelling in song and catchy melodies in the chorus. Wesley agreed with this take, despite his 327min rant over Zoom about how he was ready to sue Ms. Swift and Mr. Kelce for kidnapping him and holding him captive in a secret control room in the Jersey shore island of Brigantine, where he lived off of 6 peanut butter and cheese crackers and a half gallon of pig saliva from a disgusting animal living on the pig farm of New Jersey Democrat Jon Stewart. That story involves drones as well as CharliXCX and Limp Bizkit, but is another story essentially shrouded in mystery and incomplete information.
David Wesley of The Wisconsin Sun Times and myself thought very deeply about the backlash and came up with a riveting theory, despite the washed up journalist knocking back 27 Yuengling pints and pulling on a dangerously high marijuana sativa vape, which left the disgusting degenerate running around naked in an Applebees, hogging down all French fries on site, then passing out on top of the bar before asking the bartender for a frozen blue raspberry margarita as a nightcap. It was then 7:23pm EST, and the door to this Paramus New Jersey Applebees violently swung open and in walked female pop star Sabrina Carpenter, dressed in a plutonium AquaBlue dress with microscopic crystals. She approached the bar swiftly, grabbed me by the neck and threw me on top of the Appetizer sampler in a booth occupied by a Hispanic family of 2 adults and 4 children. She kissed me passionately, called me a disgusting magnetic asshole then quickly left the establishment. How she knew of my whereabouts let alone why it was such a short visit from a feisty sexual pop star is another expansive story shrouded in mystery and incomplete information.
I didn't get to the deep theory behind the backlash to Ms. Swift's latest album, but discovered that podcaster Matt Walsh covers it in his latest video.
Best wishes,
Wyatt Benny
