Washington, D.C. - With a stroke of a pen, President Trump is once again waging a battle with the English language, this time signing an executive order outlawing all irregular verbs.
Presenting the order to the president before both domestic and international news outlets, Lewis Socket, a bagger at a local D.C. supermarket chain, explained, "With this no-nonsense order, Mr. President, you have dealed yet another blow to woke speech. No longer will you have to say things like, 'I have lain down."
After signing the document, Trump quipped, "I see what you doed there. We've always knowed that it was "laid" anyway. I mean whoever said, 'I got lain this weekend'?
