Larry Nassar has friends

Funny story written by Jake de Fake

Tuesday, 11 July 2023

image for Larry Nassar has friends
"Bring us the convicts, so we could get justice!"

Breaking Spoof News:

Former physician Larry Nassar experienced a violent incident within a federal prison in Florida, as reported by two sources knowledgeable about the situation.

Joe Rojas, the president of the local corrections officers’ union, highlighted that medical professionals nationwide are declining to provide adequate medical care to prison inmates transferred to hospitals. This action serves as a protest against the treatment of a fellow doctor within the prison system.

Rojas acknowledged the efforts of the corrections officers present during the incident, stating that they played a crucial role in preserving Nassar’s life. He confirmed that Nassar is currently in stable condition.

"We are committed to providing appropriate medical care to correction officers, police officers, and any American who extends compassion and empathy towards Larry Nassar. He is a fellow physician who has positively impacted the lives of many patients throughout his career," stated Dr. Vivek Hallegere Murthy, Surgeon General and president of the organization 'Doctors United.'

Larry Nassar intends to file a lawsuit against the federal government, claiming cruel and unusual punishment due to his placement in a less secure facility despite his high-profile status. He anticipates receiving $12 million, which he plans to allocate towards improving his food quality and living conditions.

Hooray!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot