Staff at a famous London hospital have been dismayed by an internal email which featured a team of beaming young nurses under the headline "Pick up a Twiddle Muff". Ageing hospital administrator, Paxton Quigley, who wished to remain anonymous, to...
The Daily Mail have boasted about their campaign to help the NHS, in which 11,000 people have volunteered to spend a few hours a week helping the underfunded service. Tabloid editor Geordie Greig said, "Why, if only the greedy money-grabbing nurses w...
Hospitals of Washington State - Dr. Lee G. Bender of Washuck Hospital spoke to reporters after all hospitals in Washington were suddenly filled with programmers that had blown off their legs. “MacroHard called for emergency assistance about 11:00...
Bethesda, Maryland - The National Institute of Health has found out how super-bugs are created by hospitals. It’s very simple. Sick people’s bodily fluids are sent down plumbing drains where they meet up with anti-biotics. All the non-super germs ar...
Washington, D.C. - Most people don't enjoy seeing dentists, but some have a serious fear of receiving dental care. Local man Juan Diente revealed to us yesterday that he's had dental phobia for as long as he can remember. "I think the last time I wen...
The unqualified success of hospital parking schemes which raise around £200m a year have prompted NHS trusts to look into other profit-making ideas. In 2016 several hospitals will try out an Entrance Fee system which could prove even more lucrative.
In a bid to reduce the overhead on the budget that is the NHS, the Conservatives have outlined a plan to decrease their spending on this national institution. "Basically," said George Osborne, "we're going to raise the money by increasing parking...
Following recent reports which incited outrage when it was revealed that doctors were opting out of working unsociable hours, new proposals have been passed that allow them the option of not having to see patients at all. Under the new scheme doct...
News is breaking that the Health Secretary has been arrested after an undercover operation by Staffordshire Police working with the Met and Interpol. It has been alleged that recent stories regarding horsemeat in the foodchain and falling asteroids h...
Due to increasing numbers of managers missing from local hospitals, senior staff will now be required to wear high visibility jackets with unique identification numbers. The Health Secretary has declared that 'proper counting' needs to be restored...
As part of its ongoing mission to improve quality of care while lowering health care costs, New York Presbyterian Hospital recently announced that it was adopting a radical new treatment methodology for post-operative cancer patients: cross fingers a...
A recent change in European law regarding the circumstances by which a person can be committed to a mental institution by the state has meant that in future anyone found guilty of smoking a cigarette in a designated public 'no smoking' area could in...
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