Arm and a leg earns early parole time in South Carolina

Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 10 March 2007

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This one could be worth a good stretch

Greenville, South Carolina - (Ass Press): Prisoners donating an organ or limb to a State-run body parts donation program will be eligible for an immediate refund on their custodial tariffs according to a South Carolina state senate panel plea-bargain extension plan.

The proposals suggest that kidney donation is worth six months' remission off a sentence, while bone marrow extracts are worth up to one year.

Slivers of the pancreas, lung, liver or intestine are calculated as being worth up to three months each while an eye, tongue, breast, penis or testicle are all worth instant release from custody and a total wipe-down of the criminal slate.

The US faces a chronic organ shortage and the proposed scheme would mean a great deal for both serving offenders as well as the 100,000 or so patients desperate for replacement organs or limbs.

A State vote is expected to take place next month after the South Carolina Department of Correction confirmed that over 10,000 inmates have signed up for full or partial parole under the innovative scheme.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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