PC virus WARNING

Written by Egg Man

Saturday, 10 March 2007

image for PC virus WARNING
This "OnIoN" virus infected PC causes this unknown person untold problems

A newly found virus which could cause havoc around the worlds PCs has been found to have originated from France.

The virus which is almost undetectable attacks PCs then lays dormant until the "burn" function is used to record music onto blank CDs. The virus named OnIoN overrides the required burn function and copies the French national anthem onto the disc. It has also been reported that a photo of Calais flashes onto the screen showing images of illegal immigrants hanging out washing on the railway fencing while awaiting transport to England via unsuspecting English day trippers.

A spokesman for Sywomantic Norten Antivirus, the company that has one of the worst customer after care services available was unavailable for comment, our phone calls were never answered and our efforts to contact the company on the internet was thwarted due to the Sywomantic Norten Antivirus slowing the PC down to an almost unusable speed.

AVGG (A re V iruses G one? G ood) who offer a completely free service told our Internet/Surf/Antivirus expert that the OnIoN virus was almost certainly started by a disreputable anti virus company looking to make a quick buck by being first to offer an expensive download to clean up the problem.

Anybody who may have inadvertently downloaded the OnIoN virus only need to hold down the right click on the mouse and shout "ONIONS" at the screen to clear the problem away.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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