EUGENE, Oregon - (Satire News) - The Pancake Capital of America has had to import pancake flippers from the North Pole.
A state rep stated that due to lots of the pancake flippers retiring, being arrested for pancake-related offenses, or moving down to Mexico or over to Canada, many pancakes are just staying there unflipped.
This situation is causing havoc with the breakfast industry as people are having to wait for up to two hours to get their pancakes at local diners.
Many diners, especially those in Rhode Island, are starting to serve waffles and crepes, which are much easier to make than pancakes.
As anyone in the pancake flipping business knows, the North Pole is very cold (averaging -30 degrees Celsius), but they seem to have pancake flipping in their blood, as they can flip 100 pancakes in less than two minutes and 20 seconds, even with mittens on.
Meanwhile the state of Oregon has worked out a deal where they will give the government of the North Pole three barrels of maple syrup, two cases of hot cocoa, some frozen reindeer meat, a family pack of gumdrops, a box of Santa Brand Condoms, and a bottle of eggnog for each North Pole resident who agrees to come to Oregon and become a pancake flipper. ■
