The Pope Heads to Mardi Gras for Titties & Beads

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Wednesday, 22 February 2023

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The Way Jesus Would've Wanted His Servant to Party!

Pope Francis the Divine and Flatulent is heading to New Orleans to enjoy the wondrous spectacle of Mardi Gras!

The Pontiff’s spokesman, Cardinal Birdie von Redbird, said, “The Pontiff wants to get down and kiss the ground where all the beads are flowing! He wants to see some titties and get wasted on watered down beer and stumble down Bourbon Street and maybe even ride on a rainbow float! If he doesn’t get hit on and exchange phone numbers with at least 50 guys, he’s not the Pope he always wanted to be. That’s why he changed his mind about gay people – he is one! Or he wants to be, hoping the Pope gig doesn’t last his whole life so that he can one day retire and go to all the Mardi Gras parades he can fit into his schedule. He wants those beads and will do anything to get some!”

Who knew the Pope was such a party animal! If you’ve got an open schedule, head on down to Nah’Lins and show Pope Frank your tits – and maybe more – and he’ll drive you in his Pope Mobile back to his 5 star monastery resort where you will spend six days and two nights partying with all the cardinals and bishops and knights and rooks!

This chess game is getting funky!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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