Should Kari Turn To Hooking? She’s Still Deciding …

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Wednesday, 22 February 2023

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A Woman Who Wears Herself on Her Chest - Mmmm, how much, baby?

Kari Lake has no good jobs left, so she’s thinking of taking a page from Lauren Boebert’s book of employment and become an escort – but only for Republican Christians who don’t like sex but who want to sit around and talk about how easy it is to steal elections.

Lauren was asked for her advice, and she said, “You gotta put up or shut up if you wanna make money … I wouldn’t shut up so I didn’t make a lot and every time a guy took out his dick I laughed, so that’s not good for a career.”

Lake is still debating. She doesn’t want to “work blue”, but she says America isn’t the same as when she grew up. “Women couldn’t even get into politics … so look at how far I’ve come! Why can’t I go farther? I deserve to be president! And maybe one day I will … but then my hooker past will hauunt my, I just know it. But I need money now! I’m hungry! The caviar just isn’t what it used to be.”

No, those fish eggs have all died, Kari … you may have to eat hot dogs and tacos for a long, long time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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