Lauren Boebert becomes President Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s “Secret Santa”

Funny story written by Warrior Six

Saturday, 24 December 2022

image for Lauren Boebert becomes President Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s “Secret Santa”
Ho ho ho motherf*****

GOP snarlpus Lauren Boebert is reported to be incensed after discovering that she is Volodymyr Zelensky’s “Secret Santa”.

Boebert’s name was drawn out of a secret Santa hat while the Ukrainian President was addressing the House of Representatives earlier this week, in a bid for more money and arms to help his beleaguered country survive a Russia invasion. The Congresswoman has vehemently opposed the request, and was reportedly on her cell phone during the speech, visiting the website, but the last laugh is now on her, as she will have fill Zelensky’s Christmas stocking full of presents.

And apparently, the Ukrainian leader’s Christmas stocking is expected to be several hundred feet long and is being stitched by his supporters in New York.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who drew Boebert’s name out of the hat, said she was delighted that the GOP politician had been selected to address the needs of the Ukrainian people. “The lady from Colorado has expressed concern that President Zelensky’s wish list would be a tall order for the American people to pay. This is a perfect solution, as she will have to pay for these things herself.”

Zelensky’s Christmas gift list includes MIM-104 Patriot Surface to Air missiles and the new MQ-9B stealth version of the Reaper UAV.

The Colorado Congresswoman, who is affectionately known as Tuka Suka in the Ukraine, will have to purchase all the items in time for Christmas Day.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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