Freedom Pill Announced

Written by DavidWagner

Saturday, 3 March 2007

A new pill has been rushed through F.D.A. testing and approved in record time, and is now available. The pill is rather expensive, and only for republicans. It has been dubbed "The Freedom Pill".

The Freedom Pill produces a mild euphoria, visions of the all American family, Mom, Dad, Sis, Johnny, the dog, a house with a white picket fence. The pill reinforces a belief in whatever republican leads say. A special extra ingredient also blocks memories of lying, bribery, stealing, making laws that destroy people and communities, etc.

Directions call for the pill to be taken in an environment that is conducive to megalomania; Like in the skybox at the football stadium, or right before you announce the closure of an American manufacturing plant (and the opening of one in over-seas).

The pill also works on the optic nerve. Dual action takes place here.

1.) Noseeum: A powerful optic blocker which shields the protected republican. He simply does not see African-Americans, Hispanics, Jews, Catholics, the A.C.L.U. or the "liberal media".

2.) Stickittoum: A recognition agent which enhances republicans ability to relate to each other. Allowing close co-operation in amassing great wealth and denying even a descent living standard to others.

So get on the bandwagon and come to your local republican headquarters. We'll know who you are. It doesn't matter if you're a newly rich republican, or an old die-hard. Even if your dad was a former conservative southern Democrat, who switched to our side when L.B.J. got the civil rights laws passed in the 1960's.

From now on we republicans will no longer be uptight. Now that we have this pill, nothing will faze us. Soon we will declare a right-wing dictatorship here, and we will bask in the glory of a Christian America.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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