Pete Doherty to help David Cameron get clean

Written by Breeze

Monday, 12 February 2007

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image for Pete Doherty to help David Cameron get clean
A doobie today

Former Libertine, Pete Doherty, and his fiancee, supermodel Kate Moss, rushed to the side of pal, David Cameron, last night as allegations of drug abuse threatened to wreck the Tory leader's career.

Doherty, who in the past, has had a high-profile drug problem, claims he has been clean since Tuesday last and is the ideal person to help Mr Cameron.

"I fu..fu..fuckin' love 'im, man." said Mr Doherty as he fell out of his limo and vomited on the path.

Supermodel, Kate Moss, echoed Mr Doherty's words as she told waiting reporters, "Dave needs to 'ave *hic* people what luv 'im *hic* and wot wanna...wanna...Ooooh, like look at the stars, man."

The celebrity couple were ushered into the house by an emotional looking Mr Cameron. Twenty minutes later we heard loud music and sounds of hysterical laughter eminating from the Tory leader's study.

After another twenty minutes, a topless Kate Moss was seen dangling from an upstairs window and shouting "I am the Queen of the World," before she was pulled back in again by David Cameron.

As the night wore on Cameron was seen staggering out of the house and urinating on a privet bush. After falling into the hedge several times, he eventually passed out and lay there until being dragged back into the house by Doherty and Moss.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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