Boebert vs. The Mailbox

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 13 August 2022

image for Boebert vs. The Mailbox
You Ain't Pretty No More! Jayson Smash You Good!

Just when you thought the Boebert family couldn't be anymore hilariously stupid ...

Lauren Boebert’s husband, Jayson, viciously attacked a mailbox, wondering where his latest issue of Teen Beat Magazine was since it was late by a month!

He thought the neighbor had it, so he ran over the mailbox. The neighbor called 911, but that didn’t stop Jay-Jay! Instead, he did an Anne Heche on it! As Limp Bizkit once sang, Jayson kept rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ – teaching that mailbox who was boss? Tony Danza? Hell no! Fear the Boebert, bitches!

Lauren then came out of her house wearing pink curlers in her hair, brandishing an AR-15, shooting randomly into the air while declaring that the mailbox was a member of Antifa and was responsible for turning good wholesome FBI agents into traitors to Trump and all Jesus-fearing white proud evil racist shithead Americans!

The mailbox could not be reached for comment.

The issue of Teen Beat never arrived. Jayson said he will take up the matter with the US Supreme Court, right after he heads to the mall food court to ask some girls if they think he’s hot.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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