WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The Alpha Beta News Agency has just noted that President Biden was seriously thinking about making Ukraine the 51st state.
ABNA revealed that he had consulted with 7 of the leading annexation experts who were paid $35,000 each and they all agreed to a man (and one woman) that it would greatly benefit the USA to annex Ukraine.
One of the experts, identified as Sybil Y. Diffenrest, 49, said that the US could absolutely use the Ukraine's abundant oil reserves, Saltine crackers, U Brand Brandy, gold, and condoms.
Meanwhile President Putin (the Bitch) has said that if the US annexes Ukraine, he will have no choice but to forcibly annex Iceland.
