WASHINGTON – After weeks of speculation around contact negotiations and holdout threats, the US government has traded Secretary of State Mike Pompeo to the Chinese government. This took place just before the trading deadline of August 21.
It is not yet decided who or what the US will get in return. The US is in need of a good Agriculture secretary and the Chinese appear to have a glut of those.
A spokesman for the Chinese government noted: “We feel that we are getting a seasoned pro who has a good understanding of how foreign politics work. We are very excited to have him join our team.”
One anonymous source from within the US State Department said: “We thought Mike was getting near the end of his usefulness to us. With all the pressure he has been under, it is just a matter of time before he blows out his brain, heart or soul.”