Pence Says No Virus on Toilet Seats

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Tuesday, 18 August 2020

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U.S. Naval Observatory, Washington D. C. Speaking in the garden outside his official office, Vice President Pence today dismissed the theory that the most common way of transmitting Covid-19 was from a toilet seat. To show how firmly he felt about this, Pence said:

"If my grandchildren needed to go potty in a public restroom, I would have no regrets about their use of a toilet there. You can't get syphilis or gonorrhea from a toilet seat, and you can't get Covid-19 that way either. Kids are practically immune to this virus, and I'd rather they sit on the potty than wet their pants."

He did suggest, however, that it might be wise to use a toilet seat cover, "Just in case."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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