The Cable News Network (CNN) has released another transcript this morning after they found that there was an error with their spell check device in their Barack Obama story. CNN has sent out a formal apology.
We at CNN have just learned that we made a tragic error. It appears that Osama bin Laden is not running for the Democratic nomination for president. Senator Barack Obama of Illinois has officially announced his candidacy. I can assure you that we all have egg on our faces and would like to apologize to Senator Obama, his supporters, and America. But you must admit that their names are strikingly similar. I mean the average American may make the same mistake. Heck, they probably couldn't tell the difference. They probably have a slip of the tongue all the time. Why blame us for this when most Americans are watching The Simple Life or American Dad?
Sorry, I got a little carried away there. I sincerely and truthfully want to apologize to Barack Obama for not only screwing up on the names, but for the rant I just went on. But still... isn't it odd that his middle name is Hussein and his last name rhymes with Obama? You yourself might suspect him to be a terrorist... I mean, Osama is praying for Obama to win according to the Prime Minister of Australia. He hears the radio communications. Oh... I am so sorry. Am I going off on a rant again? Oh, monkey trumpets.
But I mean, how can we even be sure that he is a red blooded, true American? I mean, he worships at a different church than I do. Sounds like a Marx loving, Siberia vacationing, communist to me. Sorry, there I go, making assumptions again. I assure you that the error was in spell check and I am not being paid by Halliburton to misspell names and go on right-wing rants to influence the election. That is a false. You can vote for Obama, if you want the terrorists to infiltrate our shores. Dang, there I go again. Well, I hope that Obama can accept my apology. I am glad that we cleared that up. Good night.