New York City Mafia Members are Refusing to Shelter-in-Place

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 3 May 2020

image for New York City Mafia Members are Refusing to Shelter-in-Place
The front window of a barbershop in Brooklyn whose owner forgot to pay the money on the bet he lost.

Brooklyn – The head of one of New York City’s most notorious crime families, says that he and his ‘employees’ will not shelter-in-place, and there is no one who can make them.

A reporter with The New York World Register newspaper recently talked to the head of the Goombalini family at a Pizza Hut.

Salvatore Goombalini was asked if his ‘employees’ would be adhering to the stay-at-home Coronavirus policy.

Sal put his pizza slice down and yelled out, “A Hella no! Ima notta gonna tell my boys ta self-isolate because we gotta suma money collecting ta do, capiche?”

He did mention that his HR (Human Resources) department has cut back on some of the less vital employees.

Sal said that he is managing to get all the money collecting done with the help of his two top hitmen, ah make that collectors, Luigi “Crazy Brain” Pasolini, and Gisuseppe “Mad Maniac” Vermicelli.

Sal, who sits on the board of directors of Brooklyn’s Salvatore Goombalini Hospital, divulged that his family has donated 30,000 medical masks to the New York Police Department, The New York Fire Department, and The New York Yankees.

He also wants his 'customers' to know that anyone who has an outstanding bill on their sports bets, will be allowed to take a 10% one-time only discount on what they owe.

Salvatore Goombalini did point out that he has told all of his ‘collectors’ to be sure and wear medical masks, medical gloves, and of course bullet-proof vests.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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