Joe Biden & The Dark Arts: Voter Suppression

Written by Political Wizard

Wednesday, 12 February 2020

image for Joe Biden & The Dark Arts: Voter Suppression
Hey Barry, look at my poll numbers

Many democrats are trying to break with convention. Mayor Pete wants to be the first gay in the White House. Elizabeth Warren wants to be the first female president. Bernie Sanders wants to lead a communist revolution. In America. While all three are doing their best to ensure President Donald J. Trump is re-elected in November, Sleepy Joe is delving into the dark arts of voter suppression. Against himself!

Despite a long history of touching children and sniffing people, Joe emerged as the stand-out front runner in a crowded Democratic field, and quickly set about alienating his own voters.

In recent months, Joe has thrust his fingers into the chest of a supporter who asked him a question, grabbed another by his lapels, and had a blunt message for one female supporter "vote for someone else".

Now Joe is ramping it up, and most notably called a nervous young student a "lying dog-faced pony".

Perseverance seems to be paying off. Biden finished 4th in Iowa and did even better/worse in New Hampshire where he placed 5th, also known as last.

No Malarkey Joe says "you don't need Russians meddling in our elections when I'm around".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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