The small, but exclusive, group of astronauts who can claim membership in the 200 Mile High Club distanced themselves today from accused stalker Lisa Nowak. Nowak, infamous for a recent attempt to kidnap her rival in a painful earth-based love triangle, now faces the additional loss of her membership privileges in the highly secretive 200 Mile High Club.
"Our club survives by a code," reported an anonymous NASA source, "discretion is absolute must. NASA invests billions of dollars in our zero gravity love experiments and public knowledge could jeopardize our funding."
There is no official public record of members, but our insider source spoke about mission patches encrypted with special symbols recognizable only to members. Even the phallic design of the shuttle itself is part of the subtle interplay of science and sex.
Nowak, who returned to Houston today after being charged and released in Florida, will be undergo a rigorous psychological evaluation before her trial. "It's obvious that she is under a lot of mental strain and may have snapped." commented renowned psychiatrist, Dr. Amanda Hogenkis, "If she was in her right mind, she would have plotted to kill the guy."
Copyright 2007, K. Napolitano