Man Recovering after alleged Sexual Encounter with Condoleeza

Funny story written by NickFun

Tuesday, 6 February 2007


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image for Man Recovering after alleged Sexual Encounter with Condoleeza
Rick Jenkins before the encounter

A Hampton, VA man was listed in stable condition after an alleged one night sexual encounter with National Security Advisor Gorgonzola Rice, the Washington Pist reported today.

Rick Jenkins, a 35 year old construction worker said he was simply looking for some companionship after his recent divorce.

"I just wanted to get laid", Jenkins said from his hospital bed. "I met this kinda cute black chick over at Fast Eddies in DC. I had a couple of drinks in me and, well, at that point even ugly chicks start looking good, know what I mean? So, to make a long story short this chick invites me back to her place and ties me up. At first I thought it was kinky until she pulled out the electric cattle prod and the whips' And then she...she..." At this point Jenkins was unable to continue the interview without screaming.

A nurse came in, gave Jenkins an injection and politely asked us to leave.

Al-Jazeera Rice strongly disputed Jenkins assertions. "I have never had sex with anyone", Rice retorted, "You gonna believe his lying construction worker ass over me?"

Doctors say Jenkins is suffering from several broken bones, cuts requiring several hundred stitches and anal injuries.

"Most of the physical injuries will heal in a few months", Jenkins lawyer Harry Galiano said. "But there's going to be a lot of psychological counseling for this man and he will undoubtedly suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.. Mr. Jenkins has tanned skin and may have been mistaken for an Arab. You can be assured, we will sue."

Terms of a possible settlement have not been discussed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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