The senile and enfeebled are whooping it up while Democratic Presidential candidates get wheeled across hustings on their respective campaign trails.
Jo Biden (77), Bernie Sanders (78), and Eizabeth Warren (70), though confused and doddering, have awoken new hope among the old and infirm in the USA.
Brad Chase (98) of Ohio was over the moon. "Sanders is my man. At 78 he's a bit juvenile but he'll learn. Trillions better than that whippersnapper Trump. He's only 73. C'mon!! What can he know about life?? Greenhorn!!"
His neighbor at the 'Home', Betty Long (112), wiped the dribble from her chin. "It's good. That Warren woman. It's good. OK, she's only 70, still a newbie, but I think a young woman as President would do the country good. We were young once..."
Pete Buttigieg (38) agreed, the best was to step down. "No chance," he confirmed. "I've tried hair remover and pouring acid over my cheeks. But I just can't get that dull ancient complexion. Also, the TV clashes are becoming ridiculous. I was asked about my time in the Afghanistan War, and then Sanders was asked about his time in the Civil War. Biden forgot his own name and had to take a leak every 5 minutes, while Warren either shouted at the camera or was knitting socks for her grandchildren. They all have rocking chairs behind their podiums for when they're off-screen. I have nothing but economic and social plans. Forget it..."
On the 'other' side, William Weld (74) confirmed his ambition to contest against Trump and become Republican champion, hoping to bring back the charm of Abraham Lincoln, whom he claims to have met when he was a child. Interviewers pointed out that Lincoln died over 150 years ago. "I know," said Weld, "I lied about my age...I keep fit. I play a lot of golf."
Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives, who will be 80 in March, was laid-back about her plans. "I have plenty of time. Maybe I'll run in 10 years or so. Who knows? America certainly needs fresh blood and new vision. And that's me down to a T..."
