Nashville Man Temporarily Misplaces His Mind

Written by Chrissy Benson

Sunday, 10 November 2019

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While confident his mind will turn up somewhere, Troy Biggs can't for the life of him recall where he most recently left it.

“It’ll turn up somewhere, I’m sure,” said Troy Biggs of Nashville, Tennessee, of his mind, which he temporarily misplaced somewhere between home and work. “No big deal. It is a little inconvenient, though."

For the time being, said Biggs, he’s doing his best to make do with mindless activities like washing the dishes, listening to political debates, and smoking marijuana. “Getting high’s not the same without the philosophizing. But at least I don’t worry so much about finding the darn thing.”

He rocked back slightly on his heels and put his hand on a table for balance. “Oops. I’m lightheaded without all those brains in there."

Biggs admitted to having lost his mind on several occasions in the past – once for good. "It was during an ayahuasca trip at Burning Man. After that, I had to cobble together a whole new one from scratch. That was rough."

Since then, said Biggs, he's been a lot more careful about leaving his mind just lying around. Still, for the life of him, he can't recall where he most recently left it. “I’m going to check my car one more time. Maybe it’s in the glove box. I don’t think I put it there, but like they say, it’s always in the last place you look, right?”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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