Susan Rice Shits on A Graham

Funny story written by G. Brookings

Saturday, 26 October 2019

image for Susan Rice Shits on A Graham

In a podcast with progressive provocateur Ben Rhodes, former Obama National Security Advisor Susan Rice, angry at Senator Lindsey Graham, held nothing back in her scathing critique of Graham’s views of the situation in Syria and, also, his past critique of her defense of the Obama administration’s actions during the Benghazi scandal. “He's been a piece of shit," Rice said. "I said it, damn it, finally. He's a piece of shit."

Later, after consulting with Michelle Obama and being told that Rice had apparently not gone as “high” as she should have, and in fact, may have gone a little low, Rice explained that her remark was more than an insult. The word “shit,” she explained, is, in fact, a perfectly valid scatological, or, if you will, a coprological noun, and her usage of the word in this case was not a crass metaphor, but a very deliberate rhetorical device called metaspoor. Asked by reporters about the backlash to her salty language, Rice downplayed the extent of it, saying it was only tight-assed, constipated conservatives who were objecting.

Rice reminded everyone that she had graduated from Oxford University with a Doctorate degree, and that she had used the word “shit” simply to drive home the point that Graham’s advice and views were inappropriate and disgusting. In no sense did she mean to equate Graham, himself, with a literal piece of shit, since such a thing could not plausibly occupy a seat in the US Senate.

Responding to Rice on the Hannity show, Graham riposted with an equally coprological critique of Rice’s foreign policy, saying that “everything she touched turned to a piece of crap.”

Hannity commended Graham for not stooping or squatting to Rice’s level by calling her nasty names, and then jokingly asked Graham if Rice had ever touched him.

“Oh, thanks, Sean,” Graham said sarcastically, “What a friend! What do you say we just flush this Rice thing right now?”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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