BILLINGSGATE POST: CNN announced today that Fredo Cuomo will conduct a Townhouse debate with New York Mayor Bill De Blasio and Montana Governor Steve Bullock, that will take place in a three-holer outhouse in Butte, Montana. Crowd control measures will be strictly enforced, said a Butte authority.
Fredo, who showed remarkable restraint when confronted by one of his fans, promised he would not exceed the 24 F-Bombs he used in his debate with an admirer last week. Both De Blasio and Bullock have been searching for relevance, with each drawing less than 1% approval in previous Democrat debates.
De Blasio, who was instrumental in the installation of revolving fire hydrants in the Central Park area of Manhattan, will face a formidable opponent in the Montana Governor.
Bullock gained his fame by legalizing the Montana Pole for sexual encounters between men and sheep in the state. The pole, which has a mirror attached to it, is dangled in front of the sheep’s head to see if it is smiling when being poked from behind by the shepherd.
De Blasio’s revolving fire hydrants were acclaimed by the New York Times as being “revolutionary.” But it didn’t take long for complaints to mount. The hydrants were intended to prevent dogs from peeing on them. Revolving at a pedestrian pace, little concern was given that dogs might lose their equilibrium while attempting to lift their leg and keep up with the hydrant while it was turning. Reports of this were pouring into Tammany Hall. Stories by wealthy Democrat dowagers of their little Muttley becoming dizzy and falling into his own urine were causing concern in the Mayor’s office.
Slim Everdingle: "It's about time America realized what these men have done."
Dirty: “Yo, Dude. And I think Fredo should avoid rowboats.”