Snot Bubble Contest Winner Used Banned Substance

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Wednesday, 31 July 2019

image for Snot Bubble Contest Winner Used Banned Substance
The winner in the Animal category

Pinhole, CA. Special to The Spoof. Yesterday's annual Snot Bubble competition at the Pinhole County Fair ended in controversy when the runner-up charged the winning contestant with using an illegal performance-enhancing medication that artificially increased the size of the winning bubble.

That bubble was measured at six-and-a-half inches before it burst, a new record for the fair, and large enough to qualify the "Big Snot," as the winner is dubbed, for the International Snot Bubble Championship in Qatar later this year.

The unidentified winner - whose name has been withheld until the judges have reached a decision on the alleged foul - claimed that he had taken fertility hormones on the advice of his doctor, and was unaware that the drug contained a prohibited mucus-producing substance.

In other categories, there was no winner in the baby contest, since all contestants simply drooled spume from their noses without forming bubbles.

The winner among the teenagers was a sixteen-year-old girl who produced two bubbles simultaneously, one from each nostril. Her boyfriend declined to kiss the winner when the burst balloons left nasal discharge across her lips.

Next year's contest will feature senior citizens, who have previously been denied entry because snot bubbles come so easily to them.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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