New York, NY - (Reuterus): Face masks are being issued by Mile High Airways after air con swab tests revealed Club Class passengers’ coughing and sneezing is down to soaring levels of sperm.
Technicians discovered billions of sperm colony-forming units (SCFUs) clogging up vital ventilation passages which reproduced quickly at altitudes in excess of 30,000ft.
Commenting on what hygiene inspectors suspect is a failure of the airline’s on-board hand sanitisers the Spoof website’s oral histories reporter said passengers’ passages also needed a good scrub-down.
Readers can book Mile High’s latex gloves and sanitary wet wipes by clicking on the website’s flusher located below.
