Washington, D. C. Exclusive to The Spoof. If you thought that there must be more to President Donald Trump's insistence on a military roll-out on the nation's Mall today, you were right.
Through a fluke in electronic transmission, The Spoof has learned the details of a "Seven Days in May" plot to eliminate dissident congress members and suppress liberal and center-oriented news services.
While The Spoof did not learn all the details of the plot, it quickly became apparent that pouring thousands of troops and an unbelievable number of armed equipment, including some of the heaviest tanks in the world, into Washington, was intended for something more than a salute to our military.
At an undetermined time, probably after the sideshow of the parade, army technicians will change the locks on offices of the most outspoken anti-Trump Democratic congressmen and women. Squads of Marines will be dispatched to apprehend specific Democrats and hold them incommunicado.
Those tanks from the parade, on display for the rest of the day to the delight of onlookers, will spring into action just before twilight, encircling the Capitol itself while another detachment of tanks is lined up in front of the White House, in anticipation of popular protests to the coup. Simultaneously, troops from the army and marines will dig foxholes in the park area outside the White House fence, setting up machine guns and mortars.
At the same time, special forces units will occupy the Washington headquarters of all three major television broadcast networks, along with the offices of CNN and MSNBC. CSPAN will have been taken over by military newsmen earlier, without incident.
Before prime time ends, Trump will appear on nationwide television on every channel - broadcast and cable - in America to announce that those hindering his plan to make America great again had been removed and henceforth the congress will quickly adopt the president's agenda.
It is assumed that the captive congress will pass, overwhelmingly, legislation allowing the president to rule by executive order.
The Spoof must advise readers, however, that the electronic blip that permitted Spoof to learn these details may actually have been an Orson Welles-type radio drama.