Colin Kaepernyuk Dyes Hair Red, White And Blue To Protest Flag: Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 2 July 2019

image for Colin Kaepernyuk Dyes Hair Red, White And Blue To Protest Flag: Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!

BILLINGSGATE POST: Colin Kaepernyuk dyed his hair red, white and blue to protest the American flag. Kaepernyuk, who gained fame by letting his hair grow so that he would look like Curly of the Three Stooges, intervened with Nike, requesting they pull their new, patriotic sneakers from sale just before the 4th of July.

These sneakers, which featured the original flag designed by Betsy Ross, were considered “hurtful” by the sensitive Kaepernyuk, who took one too many knees to the head in his brief NFL career with the San Francisco 49ers.

Kaepernyuk, who just recently changed the spelling of his name to honor Curly, said he loved watching his nutty hero roll around on the floor yelling, “Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk! In fact, that is how he got the idea to take a knee during the playing of the National Anthem.

Slim Everdingle: “The guy should be in the Hall of Fame.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. The Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk Hall of Fame."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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