Chivalry in Stable Condition and Doing Well

Written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 4 July 2019

image for Chivalry in Stable Condition and Doing Well
Chivalry is out of immediate medical danger thanks to the swift intervention of southern-style treatment.

Contrary to reports that he was dead, verified sources have comfirmed that chivalry is in stable condition and doing well.

"It wasn't looking good there for a minute," said Dr. Chase Lancet of New England Medical Center, as he held open the door for a female nurse and allowed her to precede him into the hospital room. "But with the help of a visiting specialist from Nashville, we managed to revive him."

According to Dr. Lancet, the visiting southern physician, through the use of effusive compliments and slick, well-polished southern charm, managed to rejuvenate the ailing quality in a manner of minutes. With the assistance of life support and intravenous fluids pumped directly via an etiquette pipeline from Birmingham, Alabama, chivalry now seems to be holding his own.

Unfortunately, the southern-style medical treatment was not without some side effects, said Dr. Lancet.

"We've noticed a slight increase in racial slurs and generally demeaning comments toward women," he said. "But on the plus side, a woman hasn't had to wait to exit an elevator since the Nashville specialist arrived. Everything has its price, I guess."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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