Spot Checks Ordered As Uncircumcised Druids Banned From Stonehenge

Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 20 June 2019

image for Spot Checks Ordered As Uncircumcised Druids Banned From Stonehenge
‘An affront to pubic decency’ says local High Priest Dave ‘Spotted’ Dick

Stonehenge, UK - (Spotty Ass Mess): Confusion reigns ahead of Friday’s Stonehenge Summer Solstice commemorations following a suspected outbreak of neolithic genital herpes among local Druid folk.

The annual parade is traditionally marked by the disrobing of flowing pagan vestments from skyclad Druids’ bodies in a naturist ceremonial pageant dedicated to the ancient deity Herne.

This year, local authority elf ‘n’ safety inspectors have been brought in and ordered to stop the spread of any unsolicited pathogens, typically those ‘suspected of hibernating in human flesh’ - ie. the scrotum.

It’s the first time such draconian measures have been levelled at the local pagan group.

Commenting on the debacle, local pagan High Priest Dave ‘Spotted’ Dick said the inspectors were an affront to pubic decency.

“Come what may, the sun will still rise over Salisbury Plain at 4.41BST,” he told Spoof website reporters.

Click here for a video of last year’s naturist romp.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more