Duck Dynasty Phil Robertson: More Controversy

Written by Bureau

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

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"Last time I told those people the truth about the Druids and their trees but I wanted to warn them about a few other thangs!

Robertson as usual started slow and then got all wound up and somewhat louder as he recorded his message.

He then shut his eyes and took the mike and told the people that they needed to check in on some other traditions.

"Now I ain't no Oliver Crumbwell, but if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it's probably one of our bunch. Hee hee."

Robertson said that every man was free to be a Druid if they wanted to be one but might have to account for it one day.

"Now about this mistletoe...one guy asked me and I'll have to look it up. But here's the meat of my short message. Those bulbs on the tree are from Babylon herself. They are fertility symbols and you can look it up in the encyclopedia.

Balls!

So now we got the Druids and the trees and the fertility symbols condemned in the Good Book.

Right now I'm into studying that reindeer and Yule Logs (More Druids).

When he got through recording and going back over it, to make sure it was alright I slipped away.

I have a feeling he's going to have more trouble over this.

"Hey" he yelled after me as I left. "I bet that supervisor at old A&E will squat out a brick over this one!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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