President Trump To Undergo Trepanning Session

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 3 June 2019

image for President Trump To Undergo Trepanning Session
You'll just feel a sharp scratch, Mr. President

Sources at the White House have confirmed that President Donald Trump has agreed to a session of trepanning ostensibly, scientists have told him, so that they can try to understand why his brain works so well.

The 'research' will commence after the president has returned from his state visit to the UK.

Trepanning, or 'trepanation', is the practice of drilling through a patient's skull, into the brain, and is a practice that was ceased many centuries ago in most developed places, and in the early 1900s in Africa.

Patients suffering from what would now be called neurological problems were trepanned, to 'allow built-up pressures to escape'.

Mr Trump is fully aware that he has a 'special' brain, and, knowing that proper scientific research into the study of superior brains could pay big dividends for future generations, he gave his authorization to drill this morning.

Those with a sense of irony have already commented that Trump shouldn't be too worried about having a drill inserted into his cranium, as he has, over the last three years, proved to be something of a bore.

In other news, two men - who could have been undercover CIA operatives - walked into a hardware store in the Washington, DC suburbs, and spent an hour trying out various used tools, including manual drills.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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