$1,000,000 Bribe gets Son into Trump U

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Monday, 20 May 2019

Hollywood, CA. Actor Gregory Peckham was arrested today, charged with paying a coach one million dollars to get his son into the San Diego campus of Trump University.

Trump, like most universities, allocates a number of slots for entering freshmen who are athletes, disregarding high school grades or test scores. At Trump, 500 of the 1000 fresh seats go to various athletic teams, including croquet, badminton, marbles, tiddlywinks, chutes and ladders, and others. Fifty of those admissions are for the domino squad.

Peckham's son sought and was granted a place on the domino team, enclosing photos of him in his domino uniform even though he had never played dominoes before.

The bribe was paid and young Peckham was admitted, but the university was defunct before the fall semester opened. Peckham faces forty years in prison if convicted.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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