Why Jimmy Carter didn't Pardon Turkeys

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 16 May 2019

Plains, GA. Special to The Spoof. Now we understand why Jimmy Carter was reluctant to pardon turkeys at Thanksgiving while he was president. He's an avid turkey hunter!

Carter, 94, is recovering from a broken hip, incurred at his home here in Plains as he prepared to go on a turkey hunt. His only lament about the injury is that turkey season will end before he is once again up and about. He obviously does not place turkeys in the same category as Bambi or his pet dog.

While president, Carter took great pains to avoid the annual turkey pardons expected of every president. Even Donald Trump has pardoned turkeys. But Carter left that chore to wife Rosalynn and daughter Amy. He apparently recognized the incongruity of a turkey hunter pardoning one of the gobblers.

Imagine hunter Carter, on the prowl with his bow and arrow, or the gun he uses to do in the fowl, coming upon a huge turkey, gobbling away and with tail extended in a fan, face to face with the ex-president.

"You gonna pardon me, Mr. President, before you whack me? What do you think the public will say when they see that photo of you standing over one dead turkey? How about..."

The turkey's sentence was cut short by an arrow, or bullet, or whatever Carter uses to pick off a turkey.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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