Increased School 'Drop-Out' Rate Pleases Both Teachers And Administrators Alike

Funny story written by Wesley Janson

Sunday, 10 March 2019

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La Crosse, Wisconsin. Although they didn't want to admit it, teachers and administrators at Lincoln High School have been extremely pleased with the increasing numbers of students from troubled homes who are dropping out of school at higher and higher rates.

With the possibility that youngsters in the community are consuming alcohol, taking drugs, engaging in pre-marital sex, and otherwise destroying their own futures, various teachers within the school continue to cherish the fact that they now have more 'one-on-one' time with the students who may actually go to college.

As retirement offers 'golden' promises of peace and relaxation to burned-out and weary educators, District Administrator, Dick Johnson, remains hopeful that the 'drop-out' rate will continue over the next few weeks and months.

Principal Aaron Decker agreed by stating that he's 'tired of dealing with bullshit' and that he just wants to move to Florida with his wife.

Teachers in every academic department continue to be thankful that their classes' sizes and work-loads have been severely reduced and that they currently have less grading.

Guidance Counselor and "Adult Living" Teacher, Jim Becker, 58, told reporters that he really isn't concerned where all of his students went or what they are currently doing.

"It's possible that many of them are not going to be successful in life," Mr. Becker stated.

"But, that's why we have police and correctional officers," he added.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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