Fad Dieter Disappointed to Learn that Fasting Just Means Not Eating

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Thursday, 25 April 2019

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While some tout the health benefits of fasting, Krista Martin prefers a more proactive approach to dieting.

Health-conscious Krista Martin of Charleston, South Carolina, was intrigued by all the chatter in health clubs regarding the supposed benefits of water fasting, until, to her disappointment, she learned that “fasting” simply meant not eating.

“Talk about a bait and switch,” said Krista. “They make it sound like you’re actually doing something, when in fact all you’re doing is not doing something. And even worse, what you’re not doing is my favorite thing in the world!”

Krista found that she is not alone in her underwhelm regarding the details of fasting; many of her colleagues at the gym where she enjoys the sauna, the hot tub, and the occasional massage, have dismissed water fasting as an excuse for anorexia.

“I agree with that take,” said Krista. “It’s totally twisted and sick. Really unnatural. Plus, I’m a more proactive kind of person, so I prefer diets that involve eating large amounts of meat. Atkins was fun while it lasted, and Paleo really did it for me for awhile. These days I’m hearing a lot of great things about the keto diet. I think those high-fat, high-protein approaches make a lot more sense.”

Krista added that while she is very clear that water fasting is not for her, she is open to exploring intermittent fasting, which, in her understanding, means sometimes going several hours between meals.

“I already do that sometimes,” said Krista. “So I think that might really suit me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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