Man Yawns, Burps, Farts And Sneezes All At The Same Time!

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 25 April 2019

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Enclosed spaces: a risk

There were extraordinary scenes at a New York subway station this week, when one man's 'bodily functions' decided to gang-up against him, and release themselves upon his person all at once.

The man, whose exact identity isn't known, was standing waiting for a train on the platform of the subway station at Queens at around 6pm.

Suddenly, and without warning, the man opened his mouth wide - without bothering to cover the gaping hole with his hand - and yawned an exhausted yawn that told of a day of total and utter boredom at work.

Nobody particularly paid much attention to this, until, from the depths of his throat came a huge burp that filled the space of the tunnel he was standing near, and echoed all along the platform.

Someone laughed.

As the sound of the burp was reverberating through the ears of the other commuters, the downward pressure on his bowel sent a huge, rumbling fart into the throng, which parted those around him as if they were the Red Sea.

And to cap the incident off, before the fart had had a chance to spread its evil noxious perfume amongst the crowd, what may have been a speck of dust entered the man's nasal cavity and tickled the hairs there, resulting in a gargantuan sneeze that put the fear of God into those standing nearest to the man, and setting off a chain reaction and a stampede, when others assumed there had been some kind of terrorist incident.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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