The War On Terror Is Over As Terror Concedes Defeat

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 13 March 2019

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We showed those bastards!

There were celebrations at the White House and in Downing Street this morning when it was revealed that the decades-long War on Terror was finally over, Terror having admitted that it was a spent force, and that it no longer had the resources or the heart to continue the conflict.

In the US, people came out into the streets to shout their support for successive American presidents who have poured a vast part of the country's wealth into winning the War on terror, so that their citizens can feel safe in their own homes.

In Britain, it was a similar story. Crowds sang songs and slogans in front of the Houses of Parliament where MPs either slept or played Candy Crush, as they have been doing for at least ten years whilst supporting America's pointless and fruitless exercises into lands where our soldiers would rather not have gone, and where many met their end for no good reason.

One little boy, 5-year-old Timmy Tompkins, turned to his mummy, and asked:

"Is Daddy coming home, Mummy, now that the War on Terror has been won?"

"No," said his mummy. "Daddy won't be coming home. He got blown to smithereens in a pointless roadside bombing so that we could sleep safe in our beds at night."

"Oh," said Timmy.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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