LOBSTERVILLE, Connecticut – (Satire News) – A spokesman for the famous sandwich franchise is denying reports that were allegedly put out by a member of the American Nazi Party. Bruno Dirtenhoffen, 42, who is the sergeant-at-arms of the ANP, told a…
There were extraordinary scenes at a New York subway station this week, when one man's 'bodily functions' decided to gang-up against him, and release themselves upon his person all at once. The man, whose exact identity isn't known, was standing...
French President Francois Hollande today thanked three U.S. citizens for their brave intervention on a packed Subway train after their actions thwarted a heavily armed terrorist and undoubtedly saved dozens of innocent lives. Mr Hollande wasted no...
Learning that bedbugs have been found in the subway, spoof reporter Gail Farrelly recently set out to get the skinny by interviewing a bedbug living in a Manhattan subway car. What follows are a few of Farrelly's questions and the bedbug's replies. WHY LIVE IN THE SUBWAY? it's better than being homeless. And the convenience to citywide transportation is a plus. FAVORITE SONG? Duke Elling...
Greetings and saturations to all my fellow urban blighters out there! This edition gets down to the wonderfully nitty slitty with a new brick and mortar outlet in the most graffiti-ridden burrough with items you just cannot miss! Down on the corner of 172nd and Huffslough, Dunkin' White, head of the local chapter of Decay International, has finally opened the iron bars to his little hell-spot a...
Yesterday morning during rush hour, New Yorkers in Times Square subway station panicked when svelte middle-aged Brooklynite Bernice Shaw walked up the entire 20-plus steps of a fully functioning escalator. Many (literal) bystanders immediately used t...
WHITEWASHINGTON, DC -- Although Quiznos is blaming its bankruptcy on the chronic economic recession that, starting during the Bush administration, which not only continued but worsened during Barack Obummer's presidency, and on Obummercare, the White...
MILFORD, Connecticut - Subway has stated that they have always had the taste buds of their customers foremost at hand. Company spokeswoman Tammy Strawhouse recently addressed the matter that had been brought up by a consumer group that some of the...
In an altruistic campaign to promote diversity within multi-culturalism, The Spoof has launched a massive endeavor to educate ethnocentric Americans as to how well they have it as compared to other so-called developed (but, by American standards, woefully inadequate) countries. This particular article considers subways of the world. American Subways (the Best) American subways put those of o...
An Iranian man visiting The Big Apple is set to sue the New York Subway system after claiming he was insulted by a multitude of passengers making his journey on the underground transit system "unbearable'. He is seeking $5,000,000 in damages. Ta...
The same attorney who filed a lawsuit against the Subway sandwich chain claiming some of the company's popular footlong sandwiches are shorter than advertised has filed a similar lawsuit against nearly all American men. According to attorney Ch...
CHICAGO, IL--Copy editor Preston Parks sat next to his soulmate Amy Gammel on a short subway ride Monday, but declined to strike up a conversation with the woman who is his absolute emotional, mental, and physical match. Although the two had appro...
Two of the world's largest brands have opened branches inside Death Row at New York State Penitentiary to serve last meals and drinks to the inmates before they go for the needle. "It's a bold move," said Subway chairman, Simon Simple. "We believe...
Although there are over 8 million people living in New York City, the company where Manhattan resident Bill Bartwell works employs only 60 people - making Bill's odds of running into any of his co-workers during his morning commute relatively low. Fa...
On a record setting day where the DC Metro Subway system ran just perfectly, thousands of DC Subway riders are in an uproar over its incredulously precise promptness and lack of any equipment malfunctions. On a December Sunday the subway actually ha...
This week I been undercover. Wearing my trusty mac and suspicious hat, I have wandered in and out of many public places, attempting to witness spontaneous drama in the flesh. It took a while. Nothing occured in Blockbuster, McDonald's, KFC or Poundland. And the usual scuffling grounds of Hollywood Bowl, Pizza Hut and Hair on Broadway proved unsuccessful. I was almost giving up hope, when I...
Super-heavyweight President bullier Michael Moore has spoken out about his disappointment over Barack Obama and his successful presidential campaign. "I know its good for the country, promises great change for the future, has been long overdue and al...
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