Trump Cancels Wall; Emergency Funds will build Fortified Train

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Tuesday, 26 February 2019

Hanoi, Vietnam, President Donald Trump was so impressed by the luxurious, fortified train that brought North Korea's Kim Jong-un to the Hanoi Summit, that he has canceled the U. S.-Mexico border wall, opting instead for construction of his own streamlined "Trump Special." It will replace Air Force One on most short hops within the U. S.

"Whether it was those gold and green exterior colors on Kim's 15 coaches and sleepers, which reminded Trump of his high school days, or the fire-power stationed on the three missile-launching flat cars, something really excited Trump," said Woof Blister, who heads CNN's delegation to the summit. "However, it's more likely that the motivation comes from the little boy in Trump.

"He once tried to buy Amtrak for Donald Jr., and close associates are betting that on his death bed he'll mumble 'Lionel' or 'American Flyer.' 'Rosebud' was before his time, but a lot of us think he's a modern 'Citizen Kane.' "

Via satellite, Trump watched the Kim Presidential Special pull out of North Korea's capital, PingPongGang, on Saturday afternoon for its three day excursion through China. Trump reportedly turned to Sarah Huckster Sanders and commented, "Let's get one of those for my many trips to Mar-A-Lago. Any nut can down a plane but a train like this is impenetrable."

He then revised his executive order, deleting the wall and making it read $116.7 billion for a fortified bullet train from New York's Trump Tower to Florida. Some of the money would come from the billions he cut last week out of California's over-budget bullet from Frisco to L.A.

Kim has invited Trump to ride the dictator's special train at Dong Ding, China's border town with Vietnam, upon conclusion of the summit. Kim's train is standard gauge and the weight of its armor and guns could not negotiate the lightweight. narrow gauge Vietnamese rail system. Trump's trip to Dong Ding will be by military car over highways from which the Vietnamese army has carefully[?] removed numerous improvised explosive devices.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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