Atheists Also Enjoy Fridays

Written by Chrissy Benson

Monday, 4 February 2019

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Atheist Henry Mills greatly appreciates the arrival of the weekend and the chance to catch up on all his heathen hobbies.

While the refrain "Thank God it's Friday!" might suggest that appreciation of the arrival of the final day of the work-week is reserved for the devout, polls show that atheists also very much enjoy Fridays.

"Just because I'm not thanking some imaginary friend in the sky doesn't mean I'm not glad it's Friday," said atheist Henry Mills of Nashville, Tennessee. "After all, weekends are when I get to catch up on all my heathen hobbies - raping, pillaging, the occasional satanic ritual. It's tough to cram all that stuff in during the week."

Vanessa Johnson of New York City, who practices Buddhism but doesn't hold a belief in any deity, similarly appreciates Friday as a harbinger of the weekend to come.

"For me, it's all about the present moment," she said. "And during the work-week, a lot of the present moments suck. They tend to be much better on weekends."

Surprisingly to some, polls also indicate that people of faith generally don't begrudge non-believers their enjoyment of the much-anticipated Friday.

"Even though they're not expressing the appropriate level of reverence, I'm glad atheists enjoy their Fridays," said Hope Cantwell of Birmingham, Alabama. Because there are no Fridays where they're going, I can tell you that!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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