Reports tonight that eighties songsmith, Elvis Costello, has been beamed aboard a spaceship whilst walking in the park.
Johnny Fingers, the lad in the pyjamas from the Boomtown Rats who played the piano takes up the story:
"I was walking through the park and noticed Elvis walking ahead of me. He was suddenly beamed up into a spacecraft. I was amazed"
And Oliver from Oliver's army told us:
"Yeah it was amazing. I was walking through the park behind Johnny Fingers, the lad who played the piano in the Boomtown Rats, and up ahead of him was Elvis. Suddenly he was beamed up into a spacecraft. I too was amazed"
And the Final word must go to Bob Gelfof, lead singer with the Boomtown Rats.
"I was in the pfokin park walking along. Ahead of me was Johnny Fingers from the Rats. In front of him was Oliver from Oliver's army and ahead of him was pfokin Elvis himself.
Annyhow, Elvis was just strolling along when out of pfokin nowhere comes a pfokin spaceship and beams pfokin Elvis up. I was pfokin amazed" says an amazed Geldof.
Alison was not available for comment but a source close to Elvis said:
"It's what he would have wanted quite honestly"