With the stress of the Iraq war and the President's recent decline in popularity, the strain is showing on the First Lady's fanny. A Whitehouse spokesman has confirmed that the presidential vagina has been ill for many days and things have recently taken a turn for the worse.
In a last ditch attempt to rescue her ailing chuff, the President has called in Bob Lemming, vagina whisperer to the stars.
Mr Lemming, 34, first came to public attention after treating the actress Angelina Jolie's box in May of last year.
"My fanny had been in a right state for years," she told us from her home in LA, "Until Bob came along. As soon as he started talking to it, it responded. Now it's better than ever."
Soul mate, Brad Pitt agreed, "Before Bob came along, Angelina was ashamed of how her fanny looked but now she gets it out all the time."
Mr Lemming attributes his success to talking quietly to the vagina and trying to build up it's confidence.
"The worst thing that can happen to a fanny is to lose confidence." he said, "Then they begin to wilt and refuse to eat.I just try to restore the balance by talking quietly and occasionally prodding it with a stick."
President Bush has said he is fully behind the plan and has total confidence in Bob's ability.
"Barbara's Bush has always been a bit dodgy," he told viewers on NBC last night, "But we know the American people are praying that it will survive this terrible ordeal. America's fanny is in Bob's hands now. All we can do is wait"
