Britain wins gold in Mastabatory Championship

Funny story written by Breeze

Thursday, 18 January 2007

image for Britain wins gold in Mastabatory Championship
Champion of the world! Bob Fidget clutches his kleenex in a victory salute

Monkey spankers everywhere were celebrating the success of Bob Fidget in the World Mastabatory Championships. Bob brought the gold back to Britain, after an absence of thirty years, with a dazzling display of world class wanking.

Prime Minister, Tony Blair, paid tribute to the athlete and called him 'a credit to the nation and a first rate tosser'.

The event itself had been dogged by incident with two Israeli participants being sent home in disgrace after testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

In addition, many athletes were angry at the tissues supplied by competition sponsors 'Kleenex', with many claiming that they were 'unwieldy' and discriminated against contestants with smaller cocks.

Mr Fidget made it to the final after a shakey start in the preliminary whack offs but after his nervous beginning, his passion and technical ability set the Championships alight.

Mr Fidget was in London today, proudly showing his medal to the kids at St Guy's Children's Hospital and lifting their spirits with a display of the skill which has made him so dear to everyones hearts.

"I want to be a wanker, just like Bob." said little Timmy Slackbladder who is recovering from a particularily nasty case of nits.

According to Bob, the secret to success is perseverance, "I have worked hard for this," he told us, "I have suffered genital scalding and have the upper body strength of a silverback but moments like this make it all worthwhile."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more